This post was originally published on Substack on February 24, 2025. I’m sharing it here for my blog readers who may have missed it.
When Faith Feels Like Another To-Do List
For years, I thought my relationship with God was about how well I was doing—how much I prayed, how strong my faith was, how obedient I was.
Without even realizing it, I was measuring my faith the same way I measured everything else in life—by how much effort I was putting in.
It never occurred to me that what I was really doing was striving—trying to make things happen in my own strength, relying on my own effort, and, without meaning to, leaving God out of it.
I didn’t see it that way at the time.
I thought I was being faithful.
But no matter how much I prayed, how hard I tried to trust God, or how much I served, there was always this underlying feeling that I wasn’t doing enough.
I had always been told that faith was supposed to bring peace and rest. But instead, it felt like something I had to keep up with—another area of my life where I was constantly evaluating myself, wondering if I measured up.
Have you ever felt that way?
Like you need to try harder, be better, or do more so that God will be pleased with you?
If so, I want to invite you into a new way of seeing faith—one that isn’t about striving but about receiving.
Because faith was never meant to feel like just another job.
How Performance Sneaks Into Our Faith Without Us Realizing It
As women, we carry a lot of responsibility—managing households, raising kids, caring for loved ones, working, serving, juggling all the things.
Even if no one tells us directly, there’s this unspoken pressure to do it all well.
To handle it with grace.
To be strong.
To be steady.
But what happens when that becomes our reality for years, sometimes decades?
We become so used to being evaluated in every area of our lives—by our families, our jobs, our churches, even our own expectations—that we start applying that same thinking to our faith.
It’s subtle, but we start measuring ourselves:
✔ Am I praying enough?
✔ Am I reading my Bible enough?
✔ Am I trusting God enough?
✔ Is He disappointed in me?
We don’t think we’re striving.
We just want to be faithful.
But without realizing it, we start seeing our walk with Jesus as another area where we have to “measure up.”
Does that sound familiar?
Like God loves you, but maybe He’d love you more if you were more consistent, more disciplined, more trusting?
If so, you’re not alone. And I want you to know—that is not how God sees you.
Where Does This Thinking Come From?
For centuries, people related to God through a system of rules and expectations—what the Bible calls the old covenant.
Under this system, the focus was on our ability to love and obey God perfectly.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.” (Deut. 6:5, Matt. 22:37)
The problem?
No one could do it perfectly. No matter how hard they tried, people always fell short.
And when you’re constantly trying but always falling short, how do you end up feeling?
Exhausted.
Discouraged.
Like you’re never quite enough.
But Jesus came to change everything.
He introduced a new way to relate to God—one based on His love for us first, not our performance.
“We love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)
Instead of us working to prove our love for God, Jesus showed us that God has already proven His love for us.
And that changes everything.
But What If I Told You Faith Was Never Meant to Feel This Way?
What if faith was never about how much we could prove our love for God, but instead about how much we allow His love to transform us?
What if faith was always meant to feel lighter—not like something we have to constantly work to maintain, but something we simply rest in?
That’s what we’re going to unpack next.
- What happens when we shift our focus from our love for God to His love for us first?
- How does this simple shift completely change the way we experience faith?
- And how can we begin to walk in faith the way it was meant to be—free, light, and full of peace?
For so long, I didn’t realize I had been approaching faith from the wrong direction.
I thought my love for God was what mattered most—how devoted I was, how faithful I could be. But I was missing the most important piece.
God’s Love Doesn’t Work Like That (The Core Revelation That Changes Everything)
If we focus on our love for God, we’ll always feel like we’re falling short.
But when we shift our focus to His love for us first, everything changes.
Why This Matters: Conditional vs. Unconditional Love
Think about the relationships in your life.
When someone loves you only when you meet their expectations, you feel pressure to keep earning their love.
But when someone loves you freely, fully, and unconditionally, it draws you in. You don’t have to work for it—you simply receive it.
That’s how God’s love works.
He isn’t waiting for you to prove your devotion before He loves you. He loved you first.
“We love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)
This is the shift that changes everything.
It’s Time to Stop Striving: Faith the Way It Was Meant to Be
Faith was never meant to feel like another responsibility—it was meant to be a relationship of trust.
Instead of asking:
❌ Am I loving God enough?
We start asking:
✅ Am I fully receiving and believing in His love for me?
When we do that, our entire walk with Jesus transforms.
How This Changes Your Faith
- Confidence – You no longer wonder if God is pleased with you. You know you are fully loved.
- Peace – You stop trying to earn His favor and simply rest in it.
- Obedience from Love – You follow Him because you want to, not because you have to.
A Real-Life Example:
Imagine if your child or best friend constantly asked, “Do you love me?”
Wouldn’t that break your heart?
You’d want them to rest in the security of your love—to know that nothing could change it.
That’s how God feels about you.
Your Second Chapter Is a Chance to Let Go of Striving
Many of us have spent years carrying the weight of responsibility—managing everything, making sure everyone is okay.
We’re so used to carrying the load that we don’t even realize we’re doing it in our faith, too.
But what if this second chapter of life is an opportunity to experience faith the way it was always meant to be?
What if faith wasn’t about trying harder, but trusting more?
What if you could walk with Jesus, not as another thing on your to-do list, but as your source of peace?
What if you could rest in the truth that He already loves you fully—right now, as you are?
Walking Forward in Grace: A Practical Invitation
Breaking free from striving isn’t about doing more—it’s about believing more.
Simple Ways to Apply This to Your Daily Walk with Jesus:
- Start your prayers by thanking God for loving you first—before you do anything.
- When you feel like you’re falling short, pause and remind yourself: “God loves me just as I am, and nothing changes that.”
- Replace pressure with presence—instead of trying to check off a spiritual to-do list, simply invite Jesus into your moments.
Final Reflection
What if, instead of striving harder in your faith, you simply let yourself rest in how deeply you are already loved?
Because that is faith the way it was meant to be.
With love and belief in you,
